Chapter 35: The Unseen Chains

These thoughts flickered through Shen Ti’s mind. When he looked up again, the lonely and fragile girl had set aside her reserve. She hurried down the steps, right up to him, clutched the corner of his robe, and gazed greedily at his face.
“Shen Lang!”
“Shen Lang!” Feng Luoyi clung tightly to his robe, choking with emotion, “Shen Lang, you—you're finally back!”

She held onto him like a drowning person grasping a floating log. These past days she had neither slept nor eaten well, fearing the Shen family might dispose of her during his absence.
And then she would never return to the capital for the rest of her life.

“When you weren’t here, I was so afraid.”

Shen Ti had always behaved with propriety toward her. This was the first time they had been so close. She was even holding onto his robe.
But the girl was sobbing as she poured out her fear. Shen Ti couldn’t bear to pull his robe away. He said gently, “Don’t be afraid. I’ve come back.”
He added, “Wipe your tears for now. Let’s talk about what comes next.”

Feng Luoyi felt a wave of disappointment, but she wiped her tears and lowered her head. “I was out of line, Shen Lang. Let’s talk inside.”

So Shen Ti followed Feng Luoyi into the main hall.

The main hall, also called the “bright room,” was the central room in the main house. Feng Luoyi’s current residence was just a small courtyard with only three rooms. The central one was the bright room, with one room on each side—one for sleeping, the other for daily living.

Shen Ti had never entered the side rooms before, not even the one used for receiving guests.
When he visited—rarely—if the matter was brief, they spoke in the courtyard. If it was more serious, they would go into the main room.
That was his bottom line. Society dictated that engaged couples shouldn’t meet before marriage. Only more open-minded parents would allow their daughters to make a brief appearance—perhaps across a courtyard or pond—when the groom’s family visited during festivals.

Shen Ti had only seen Feng Luoyi once, from afar, during their engagement. After that, he left to study and never returned, not until the Feng family fell into ruin.

Now, Feng Luoyi’s status had changed. Technically, the usual rules no longer applied. In reality, Shen Ti sometimes had to meet with her face-to-face to discuss matters.
But he always kept to the rules—never improper, never frivolous.

Even when he was young, Yin Zhi had seen that he was that kind of person. And even now, he still was.

They sat down together.

The maid Zhaoxiang brought in tea with incense, gave Feng Luoyi a look, then quietly left, closing the door softly behind her.

Shen Ti noticed and frowned slightly.

“Shen Lang, you…” Feng Luoyi looked up. “Your marriage has been arranged, hasn’t it?”
Her eyes shimmered with tears. Her pale, delicate face looked even more fragile, likely from all the stress and worry during Shen Ti’s absence.
She was already like a willow swaying in the wind—now she looked even more pitiful.

Shen Ti felt deep pity and chose to ignore the maid’s subtle actions. He sat upright and got to the matter.

“Yes, it’s been arranged,” he said. “My third uncle’s fourth daughter—she’s a few months older than me.”

Feng Luoyi lowered her eyes. “She must be the most learned and refined among her sisters to be chosen for you.”

Shen Ti thought for a moment. He knew the daily life of his cousins from his time in Huaixi. “Not exactly,” he replied. “There’s no great scholarly talent in my maternal family. Even the male cousins stopped at the xiucai level. As for the girls… they can read a little, just enough not to be called illiterate.”

Feng Luoyi already knew that his maternal family were just rural gentry and that his cousins were sheltered country girls with no experience of the wider world. But hearing him confirm it himself still gave her some relief.

She whispered through her tears, “You’ve suffered because of me.”

Suffered?

Shen Ti thought of Yin Zhi’s rosy-pale face, her bright eyes, how she had ruthlessly exposed his hypocrisy and made a bold proposal.
Truthfully, he hadn’t felt wronged.

A woman’s family, status, or father’s influence—these were external things. A gentleman cultivates his heart and conduct, walks with virtue. A career and life built on one’s own merit are most secure.
Those who rely on external things do so because they are hollow inside.

“There’s no such thing as suffering,” he said. “Don’t overthink it. I haven’t spent much time with my cousin, but I can tell she is upright and modest, understanding and reasonable. I’ve already explained our situation to her. She is broad-minded and accepts everything between us. She will be a virtuous wife.”

“My father and mother have agreed as well. We’ll marry early next year. I will welcome her into the house first, then give you your rightful place.”

“So you can set your heart at ease. Worry damages the body, and I can see you’ve grown thinner since I left. You must take care of your health.”

Feng Luoyi was lightly dabbing her tears with her sleeve but froze when she heard this. Alarm filled her heart.
He wasn’t even married yet, and he had already decided to take her as a concubine. Even if she was of lower birth, what woman wouldn’t feel resentment?
And yet this other woman had managed to make Shen Ti speak so highly of her—“upright,” “modest,” “broad-minded.”
Clearly, she was a deeply calculating woman.

Her already miserable future now seemed darker still.

“She’s truly admirable,” Feng Luoyi said faintly. “Then I can rest easy.”

Shen Ti considered telling her about the agreement between him and Yin Zhi but held back.

“A minister who lacks discretion risks himself; a ruler who lacks discretion risks his state.”
If he told Feng Luoyi, she would probably tell her only companion—the maid. That girl had her own thoughts. Women confined to the rear courtyard had limited perspective. A small issue could ruin a bigger plan.

Best to keep this matter between him and Cousin Yin.
Once the marriage was complete, it wouldn’t be too late to tell her.

“Yes, you can relax now,” Shen Ti said. “I’ve already reported for duty at the Hanlin Academy. Now that it’s settled, I’ll focus on my official career. You focus on your health.”

“Next year, once you have your official status, you’ll never need to fear anything again. Leave everything to me.”

“Only, now that all is settled, from tomorrow onward, we must begin keeping our distance. I won’t be coming over anymore. If you need anything, have your maid call for Changchuan. Whether it’s clothes, food, or firewood—if anyone dares treat you poorly, send your maid to report it.”

“Remember—while I am in this household, no one will mistreat you.”

As he finished, Shen Ti felt an unspeakable relief.
This matter—Feng Luoyi’s future—had finally been settled.

People say a man’s career is important, and a woman is trivial.
Shen Ti didn’t agree.
How could a woman’s future be a small matter? If you treat her lightly in your heart, she will be wasted for a lifetime.

His mother once sighed, saying a woman’s life is like a flower—beautiful in bloom, but too easily withered.
His mother’s birth mother had died early. She’d been raised by her stepmother and endured much restraint and grievance.
Even when she spoke of it with calm detachment, Shen Ti could sense the buried emotions.

But men were not women. Their perceptions of the same situation could be completely opposite.

To Shen Ti, the big matter was now resolved. Everything had been explained clearly. Everyone could rest easy.

To Feng Luoyi, it was completely different.
She could feel, unmistakably, that ever since he settled the engagement with his cousin, her weight in his heart had diminished.

Before, his heart was only divided between her and his examinations.
Now, he spoke of that “cousin” with much admiration. He said “not suffering” with such sincerity—as if he truly didn’t feel he had compromised.

How could a newly appointed Third Scholar, talented and handsome, be content with a country girl?
That cousin—if not educated—must be very beautiful.

Feng Luoyi recalled his words and asked, “Your cousin is older than you. Why has she not married until now?”

There was no need to hide it. Shen Ti replied, “She’s had a tough life—lost her mother young and was raised by her stepmother. Later…”

He told her how Yin Zhi had missed her prime and remained unmarried at seventeen.

The more Feng Luoyi heard, the heavier her heart became.
Her instincts had been right. Shen Ti clearly pitied that illegitimate cousin who lost her mother early.

The pity he once gave entirely to her was now being shared with someone else.
And that someone was her future mistress.

Feng Luoyi felt utterly heartbroken.

Their parents had reached compromises, his future wife had made her agreements, and Shen Ti had now explained everything to her. He felt all the pressure of the past year lift from his shoulders—an inexpressible lightness in his heart.

He stood. “Everything’s settled. Don’t overthink. Rest well and take care.”

By next year, it would all be resolved.
All would be well.

“I’ll be going.”

What could Feng Luoyi say? She could only respond, “Alright.”

She rose to see him out.
She followed two steps behind, then looked up at him—
His tall, upright figure, official robe draped neatly—he truly resembled a bamboo in spring.

Her future was entirely tied to him.

The glance Zhaoxiang gave her before leaving flashed through her mind.
Last night, she had cried into her pillow. Zhaoxiang had come to keep her company and offer her advice:
[Steal the master’s child.]
[Men always favor their eldest sons. If you give him one, he’ll think—this should’ve been a legitimate son, and now it’s not. How could he not care? In the inner court, the more the master favors someone, the better her days become.]
[So what if she’s the main wife? If you have the eldest son, you’ll surpass her. Even Master Shen and Madam Shen will have to lift you up for the grandson’s sake.]

Last night, she had scolded Zhaoxiang:
[How could I do such a thing? I’m not that kind of person.]

But today, having clearly felt her diminishing place in Shen Ti’s heart, his pity divided between her and his future wife, a strong sense of crisis surged over her.

As Shen Ti raised his hand to push open the half-closed door, Feng Luoyi knew—
This was her last chance.

He had said it himself—everything was decided, and he would now focus on his career.
To him, her matter was “settled.” Nothing more to worry about.

From now on, he would grow ever more comfortable in this “settled” state.
His tenderness toward her would fade, replaced by routine.

Her last chance.

Just as Shen Ti lifted his hand to push the door open, he suddenly jolted—Feng Luoyi had tightly embraced him from behind.

Shen Ti turned back in shock.

“Shen Lang…” The girl buried her flushed face in his back, her voice trembling, “I—I’m still so scared…”
“Could… could you stay?”
“Shen Lang, please… give me a child.”